A year after arriving in France, Englishman Paul West is still struggling with some fundamental questions: Why are there no health warnings on French nudist beaches? Is it really polite to sleep with your boss's mistress? And how do you cope with a plague of courgettes? Paul opens his English tea room, mutates (temporarily) into a Parisian waiter; samples the pleasures of typically French hotel-room afternoons; and, on a return visit to the UK, sees the full horror of a British office party through Parisian eyes. Meanwhile, he continues his search for the perfect French mademoiselle. Butt will Paul find l'amour eternal, or will it all end in merde?